My origin story

[OmegaflareX]

Okay, I'm remaking the origin story. I'll have the prologue as well as the first chapter (the newest part) up soon. Weiila, can I get this stickied? Thanks. =)

[Weiila]

Aye, will be done, sergeant!

[Wilfredo Martinez]

Look at this as a chance to correct anything you were unhappy with in the story, Omega.

And glad to see you still writing!

Wilfredo

[Chris-chris]

Very well, I'll be looking foreward.

[OmegaflareX]

First, the prologue again:

Prologue: The Meeting

I am Omega, traveling mercenary.

I was just a lone traveler at the time, going from place to place, and acting as a mercenary to take jobs such as eradicating monsters for money. I was remarkably skilled with magic, but I had developed impressive skills with a blade and I could easily handle a katana or a saber. What I hadn’t known was that my life was going to take an enormous turn, beginning on the very airship I was riding.

I had never been that interested in money that I received for jobs; I was usually always willing to help people. I did, however, need the money to survive, which generally ruled out chivalry in many cases. However, when poorer families ask me to perform duties, I never asked them for payment.

Throwing my light green hair back from my face, I immersed myself in a small spellbook, learning enhancements for the ones I currently knew. I was taking one of the steam powered airships in the area to the other side of the Turaikt Mountains, where the great trading city of Marunkan awaited. Many times while taking jobs I had heard of the place, and it would be great to explore some new land. I had been in one place for too long. Life had gotten a bit dull; I was on the small continent of Tarlon, and I hadn't left it in a while.

The ship shook slightly and dispelled my thoughts. I looked up curiously, wondering what was going on. Then, the ship shook again, much harder this time, and the bag that carried my money and supplies dropped off the small table I had put them on. I stood up and opened the cabin door. Two guards clad in navy uniforms with silver chest armor were outside in the wooden hallway, running from cabin to cabin and shouting to people. “Go into your rooms and lock your doors! Thieves have snuck into forbidden areas of the ship!”

Naturally, I drew my sword and stepped out. The guard approached me hurriedly. “Sir, I ask that you go into your room and-” “No.” I interrupted. “If thieves have started their dirty work, I’ll be more than happy to clean it up. I’ve worked as a mercenary for a long time, you know. I’m quite skilled with tracking thieves”

The guard shook his head. “Leave this to the airship guard. Now, will you please-HEY!” I had run off, too eager to find out what the thieves were after, and wondering why the ship was shaking.

I bounded down the stairs, katana drawn, my eyes darting about, looking for the culprits. As I came to the bottom step, my eyes fell upon another stairway. I peered down the stairs, and noticed the door at the bottom had a lock on it. Except that the lock had been broken. “There.” I muttered to myself. The thieves had to be in that room.

The guard from before came running down the stairs after me. “You can’t go in there, it’s restricted!” He shouted. I turned to look at him calmly. “That’s not what somebody thinks.” I replied, pointing to the broken lock. The guard stared at it. “We’d better check that out. Go on, since you’re so eager to find out what’s going on, and you seem like a sturdy fighter.”

As quietly as I could, I tiptoed down the stairs, the guard behind me, now with a regular sword drawn. The wooden door was closed. I carefully took hold of the knob and opened the door…

It was a small room. Valuable items were stashed in here. Boxes and crates full of goods that were bound for nearby towns were in here as well, lining the walls. In the center of the room there was a jewel encrusted treasure chest. “Thimonius.” I muttered softly, and a small sphere of light appeared in my palm and lit up the room. There was nobody inside.

The guard sighed in relief. I too, had been coiled like a spring, ready for any sudden attack. I relaxed now.

“Well.” The guard said. “There doesn’t seem to be anyone here. Let me just check to see if this is alright…” the guard pulled out a key and inserted it into the golden lock on the chest. Before he could open it, a box fell over.

A slender elf, with long, platinum blonde hair and a bow drawn, leapt from behind several crates. Simultaneously, another figure, this one a human like myself, leapt from the other side of the room. The second had short, brown hair and two triple bladed daggers drawn. While the guard tripped in the initial surprise, I raised my katana. At once, the elf pointed his bow at the other human and I, the other human pointed his blades at the elf and I, and I held my katana up in front of me, unsure of what to make of these new people. They certainly did not have the appearance of thieves.

“Who are you?” The elf demanded harshly. “I should be asking you the same thing!” The human answered automatically, glaring at the elf. “W-what is going on?” The guard stared, getting to his feet.

The roof of the cabin suddenly blasted open, cutting off any further conversation. I just had a glimpse of a face with a bandana tied around his hair, but then it vanished in a cloud of smoke. “Those are the thieves!” The guard pointed up. The ceiling of two floors had been blasted away, exposing the night sky and the stars rushing past as the airship continued its course. “I’ve seen them before! They’re outlaws who sneak onboard airships and rob them of their valuables!”

The elf, the human, and I looked at each other, now aware that we were on the same side, though I was wondering what the human and the elf were doing here in the first place. I suddenly shook my head. “Are we going to stop those thieves, or not?” I inquired to the other two. The elf stared at me incredulously. “You mean to say that you trust us?” “I think the guard’s words are good enough, even though it seems you broke in here.” The elf shook his head. “I can explain that later! If we’re going to go, then let’s go up to the roof!” “H-hey! The human raised his hands. “We haven’t even met! So now we’re all buddies, teaming up against thieves?” The human received no answer, for the elf and I were already running out of the room, while the guard had fled to get help. The human shook his head. “Let’s give it our all then!” He followed us.

I raced to the trapdoor that led to the roof of the airship, only to find that it had been locked from the top. “Stand back.” I warned the other two, raising my hand. They took the point immediately.

“Spark volt!” I roared. A jet of electricity shot from my hand, blasting the roof door clean away. The human looked impressed. “Now that is one good way to make a door!”

“Stop dawdling!” The elf scolded. We exited the airship to its roof. Immediately, the chilling wind rushed into my face like icy knives, throwing my hair back, but I saw the thieves clearly for the first time. One had greasy black hair, a scar across his face, and an axe in his right hand. Another had a frail build, slick blonde hair, and a crossbow in both hands. The third, apparently the leader, had a stronger build than the other two, a bandana on his head, from which several reddish brown locks of hair emerged, and gray, fiery eyes. A sword was in a belt at his side, and all three thieves wore adventurers’ clothes.

They noticed us for the first time. “Who are you?” The black haired man demanded. “We’re busy!” The blonde haired one added. The one with the bandana around his head held up his hand to silence them. “Hold up. These three look like they might give us some good fighting practice.” He took a few steps toward me and my companions, while the other two drew their weapons.

“So, what’s your story?” He asked casually. I drew my sword. Behind me, the elf and the human drew their own weapons. “We’re here to stop you!” I shouted over the wind. The thief cocked an eyebrow. “Stop us, eh? We were after the treasure chest in the cabin downstairs. It looked promising. Then, we heard running footsteps, so we bombed the roof to get out. Was that you?”

I shook my head. “The elf and the human were in the room already. How, I do not know. But you won’t get away!” The thief laughed, his cocky expression never leaving. “A lot have tried to stop us, but we’re as slippery as eels. You’re not going to stop us that easily.”

He turned to the blonde haired one. “Geoffrey! Load your crossbow!” The one called Geoffrey nodded. “Got it, boss! But should I just toss a bomb at them and blow them away?” The leader rolled his eyes. “That would probably set the ship on fire, thickhead.” The leader turned to the black haired man. “You too, Luther, get your axe ready!” The three thieves brought up their weapons, as did we. “Remember my name well, travelers. You’re fighting the great Leon!”

They charged at us. Leon sped toward me, his sword in front of him. The first thing I noticed as I parried his strike easily was that he was hardly even trying. Apparently, he didn’t consider me much. Well, all the better for me, I thought, smiling to myself.

Acting as Leon had suspected me to act, I parried his first strikes by inches. This only made Leon even more overconfident. He stopped fighting seriously and started attacking slower and with less precision. Watching his strikes carefully, I noticed more and more gaps in his defenses open up.

Without warning, leapt at Leon in a fierce counterattack. In the initial surprise, I was able to thrust my sword and draw a narrow gash along Leon’s cheek. He stumbled and fell to the ground, but leapt back to his feet before I could disarm him.

“So, you’ve got some fight in you.” Leon ran his finger along the edge of his sword. “Well, what are you waiting for? If you won’t make the next move, I will!” He came at me again, fully focused this time. My normal strategy would have been to simply cast a spell, but I knew that any offensive spell I cast would probably damage the ship. Besides, if I stopped to concentrate on a spell, Leon could easily wound or even kill me.

In the middle of the fight, I managed to catch snatches of the fights between my allies and the other thieves. The human’s triple bladed daggers were whirling against Luther’s axe, but it wasn’t clear to who was winning. Meanwhile, the elf and Geoffrey were launching arrows at each other. The elf had tried to get to Geoffrey and disarm him, the elf being much more fit than his opponent, but Geoffrey’s crossbow kept the elf at bay.

I had just thrust at Leon again when the ship shook suddenly and violently, throwing everyone to the floor of the airship roof. Clutching the wood on the airship’s roof with my hands, I glared at Leon. “What kind of idiocy are you trying to pull? You could bring the entire airship down with those bombs!”

Leon’s cocky visage sagged for the first time, a look of confusion replacing it. “I-I didn’t plant any other bombs.”

The ship shook again, and the loud blast of a bomb could be heard clearly. I stared at Leon. “Other than the bombs at the roof, you didn’t…?” Leon shook his head, alarm mounting in him. I stared down at the airship. There was someone else in the airship who wasn’t a passenger.

Someone who was probably stealing whatever was in that treasure chest as we spoke.

The ship rumbled softly, but the airship continued its course through the night sky. For a moment, nobody spoke, clutching the roof of the airship, unsure of what was happening. I stood up. “Come on you two!” I looked at the elf and the human. “Whoever’s down there is eventually going to destroy the ship with those bombs, or whatever he’s doing! Come on!”

As I tried to stand up, the loudest blast thus far, so loud I mistook it for thunder for a wild moment, roared through the sky, sending everyone back to the floor of the airship. Then, the airship began to turn downward, and it quickly started spiraling towards the Turaikt Mountains below.

Leon whistled to his two cronies, and both crawled over to him. After a brief discussion, the words inaudible because of the rushing wind, they each took out what looked like a small glider from their packs. Then, they leapt over the roof and glided safely away from the descending ship.

“Damn!” I shouted. I turned to the elf and the human. “We have to get into the ship and brace ourselves for the crash!” It was too late. The ship was speeding down too fast. The wind was rushing at my cheeks like small knives, and my hair was flying back. “Hold onto the roof!” I hollered at the last second. The elf and the human needed no second bidding.

I looked downward and had a brief glimpse of a mountain getting bigger and bigger before a deafening crash shattered the ship. A large chunk of it was flattened against the top of the mountain. The ship rolled down the enormous mountain’s side like a sleigh, and then smashed against a plateau. Wood, splinters, and glass flew everywhere. In the impact, I was hurled off the ship like a rag doll. The momentum threw me into a bush, which absorbed a lot of the injuries I would have normally received. A cloud of smoke rushed over me, blinding me temporarily. I squinted my eyes shut and listened to the loud noises of the ship breaking apart. Then there was silence.

I got up, shaking my head to ward off the dizziness threatening to overcome me. Except for some bruises, I was relatively unharmed.

I took my bearings. I was a short distance from the heap of wood and glass that had once been an airship. Broken twigs surrounded the wreckage. “Twigs?” I wondered aloud, but then shook the notion out of my head when I remembered the elf and the human. I barely knew them, but I had come to greatly trust them in the battle we had had with the thieves.

I reached the airship to see wounded passengers and crewmembers being treated by those in better condition. There didn’t seem to be anybody dead, for now at least.

“Hey! You, in the cape!” I turned to see my elven friend hurrying towards me, a grave look in his eyes. “Are you hurt?” He asked. I shook my head. “A bush absorbed a lot of the impact when I was thrown from the ship.” The elf looked a bit less grave with the news.

“Have you seen the other human who was with us?” The elf asked. I shook my head. “Did you see him in the crash?” I asked. “No, my eyes were shut because of the smog.”

“I inquired about him.” The elf continued. “Nobody’s seen him. It’s my guess that he was thrown off the ship too, but probably farther.” “We should go look for him.” The elf thought about this for a moment. “We don’t even know if he’s alive.” The elf responded. “We should still look for him.” I persisted. “I doubt someone as capable as him would just let himself die like that.” The elf thought for a moment, then nodded. “Fine, we’ll go search for him.”

“Are you going out?” Came a voice to the right. The elf and I both turned to see a man striding toward us. He was tall, with neat, brown hair and he was dressed in blue clothing with black shoes. “Yes.” I responded. “What of it?” “I am Captain Stolman Othrius, captain of this ship.” He shook hands with the elf and I. “If you’re leaving, I have a favor to ask.” The elf and I listened intently.

“I have exceptional skills with ships and airships, but even when I tried to give the ship a smooth landing, it was a miracle it didn’t break apart entirely.” Captain Stolman shook his head and sighed. “We can’t leave until our wounded have recovered, and from what the guards have told me about casualties, we’re not going anywhere for a while, especially since a lot of the supplies were flattened or flew overboard when the ship crashed. I need to ask you to go to Marunkan, where this ship was intended to dock, and I need you to ask the city to send us aid. I will of course, will gladly pay you for venturing through the mountains to get help.”

The elf and I looked at each other. The elf nodded. “We can find our comrade along the way, and we can’t just leave these people here.” “I agree.” I replied. I turned to Stolman. “We will gladly do this for you.” The Captain nodded with gratefulness in his eyes. “Very well. Do you need anything from us?” I shook my head. “No, but thank you. The elf and I have our supplies in the ship. We’ll just find them and be on our way.”

“Come to think of it, I never found out what your name was.” The elf told me as I took my bag of supplies from my now completely destroyed cabin. “My name is Omega.” I replied, shaking the elf’s hand. “Jurien.” He answered in response.

“You know.” Jurien began. “The airship – look out!” He suddenly shouted, as something small and red darted into the room. It smacked into Jurien’s face, knocking him over. I grabbed at my sword hilt and realized what it was: A harpy. It was but a harpy hatchling, but it could still be quite dangerous. It flew toward me and I raised my sword just in time for it to impale itself on my blade. The harpy, stuck on my katana, let out a shrill shriek that shook both Jurien and me before it died. Out the window, we heard several shrieks in response, then a flapping of wings. Then I suddenly remembered the twigs I had seen. My eyes nearly popped. “Jurien!” I shouted. “We’ve landed in a group of harpy nests!”

~~~~~

I'm not sure if I remember the reviews I was given before the worm virus hit, so any advice will do. I'll have the first chapter up soon.

[Valkyrie Esker]

Liek I said, too much action in too little a time frame. Tone it down a bit, and you'll do fine.

[OmegaflareX]

The beginning works somewhat like FFVII; it starts off hot, but then cools down for a while.

[OmegaflareX]

Okay, first chapter is up!

This is a much shorter chapter, and a flashback in my character's history when he is ten years old. It also unfolds a bit, too.

Chapter 1: Hidden Depths

Seeing all of this happening caused me to remember a fateful day in my past...

I parried my partner’s attack with the utmost ease. Twisting, I thrust and vented his tunic at the shoulder. He attacked me again, but I dodged to the side, shaking sweat from my forehead. Seeing me distracted, my opponent lunged a third time, but I leapt forward and swung my blade upward so that my weapon clanged upon the impact with his. My opponent stumbled backwards from the momentum, and I charged this time, swinging upward again and knocking his blade clear from his hands.

“Enough!”

I wiped sweat from my forehead and shook hands with my panting sparring opponent. Turning, I saw my master and mentor, Darumir, walking towards me, a look of approval on his face.

“You’ve gotten even better on your thrusts, Omega. Face me in sword combat; I want to see if your parrying is satisfactory.”

I was ten years old, and was training at the center of Darumir, well known for molding even the most inexperienced trainees into blademasters in a surprisingly short time. Darumir, though, seemed to hold me in high favor. Every day, he worked with me himself (it was considered an honor among his students to get training from him personally), he taught me magic and how to strengthen it, he taught me to efficiently wield every weapon he and I could think of, and he even took me to train with others more well versed in a particular field than he was.

Darumir’s training center was located in the plains, so people often had more than enough space to train in private or with an opponent.

Darumir was not a young man; he was a grizzled, middle aged warrior, but as he aged, his vigor never seemed to die out. An atrocious rumor had once been started that he was immortal. Slightly messy brown hair and a scraggly short beard formed his facial features.

My parrying skills were tested for at least a half an hour before he was satisfied my parrying had again improved. Following the parrying lesson, he tested my speed at focusing mana for spells. I had a unique natural ability with spellcasting, particularly offensive spells, and it already took a mere six seconds to gather and focus enough mana for a simple fire spell.

He nodded his approval. “Good work. You’ve cut your time down by a few seconds in the past few days. We’ll call it quits for today; go rest yourself.”

I caught my breath for a few moments. Darumir had worked me particularly hard this evening, and I had cast so many spells I was nearly dropping with fatigue. As always though, I was proud that he approved. Even still, I couldn’t stop wondering…
“Master Darumir?” I asked aloud.

Darumir, who had been nearly out of my line of vision, turned. “Yes?”

I shuffled my feet briefly. “Master, why are you training me this hard? I know you’re known for turning trainees into champions, but you seem to want to make me into a champion of champions.” Darumir cocked an eyebrow. “Maybe I do.”

“Why do you want to?” I persisted. “You’ve trained me to master things one can normally not even accomplish at my age, you’ve trained me with elves, dwarves, and even halflings, and you’ve taught me to harness mana for the types of spells guild masters use! Why do you do it?”

Darumir’s eyes wandered and he stared off into the sky before answering. “I figured you were going to ask this eventually.” I said nothing in reply, hopefully waiting for an answer. “Well,” Darumir started again. “It isn’t my place to answer that.” Blood rushed into my cheeks. “So are you saying all of this training has been for nothing?” I gaped incredulously, indignation mounting within me. Darumir shook his head. “Of course not. Someone with the power that you have been granted should never be wasted.”

My indignation suddenly faded, replaced by a wide eyed stare. “I have a gift of power?” I repeated, only half comprehending what Darumir had said. Darumir looked uncomfortable at my response. “I should not have told you that,” Darumir said stoically. “And I shall tell you nothing more. You are not ready to know. Not yet.”

Darumir swiftly changed the subject. “Omega, do you remember what I told you about how you came to be one of my disciples?”

I nodded instantly. “You said you found me as a newborn abandoned, but you have never said where.”

"Where is not important right now. What matters is what happened when I found you."

Darumir leaned upon his sword. "Ever since I found you abandoned, you have had a strange gift. Almost unnatural, especially for someone of your age."

I was confused. "This...power you talk about. Was I simply born with it?"

Darumir gazed at me intently. "Yes..." he said slowly. I exhaled with that information. "...and no." He finished.

I stared at him, the tense feeling in my returning. Had I been given the gift of mastery in fighting, of magery, and just about everything involving combat? By whom? And why?

Darumir seemed to understand my thoughts, and he looked grim. “That…” he concluded. “Is another thing you are not ready for.”

With that, Darumir turned and strode back to the training center. I cupped a hand to my cheek and called after him: “Where shall I meet you for the lesson tomorrow?” Darumir responded without turning. “You have had your lesson for tomorrow. It is perhaps the most important I will ever teach you. Remember what I have said, Omega, for you will need to use the knowledge well in the future.”

That was it. After so many years of training with Darumir, I had finally questioned my history, and now I almost regretted it. Upon hearing that I had a strange power, I felt as if a burden had suddenly been heaped onto my back.

I turned to the sky and the setting sun, gold and crimson in the last hours of daylight…and wondered.

[Valkyrie Esker]

Only a two things I could find wrong with that, Omega:

1.) You should post something inside the chapter at the beginning showing the transition to flashback.

2.)Darumir swiftly changed the subject. “Omega, do you remember what I told you about how you came to be one of my disciples?”

I nodded instantly. “You said you found me as a newborn abandoned, but you have never said where.”

Darumir looked slightly grim. “That…” he concluded. “Is another thing you are not ready for.”

Why did Darumir bring up Omega's origin, if he wasn't going to really say anything about it?

[OmegaflareX]

Serves me right for writing that part at 11:00 at night. :P

Darumir was implying that my character is not ready to learn his history.

[Valkyrie Esker]

But just bringing it up like that, it seems like he's just teasing Omega with knowledge about his origin.

[Chris-chris]

good. I like it. Just needs some brushes, but, its still good.

[OmegaflareX]

Originally posted by Valkyrie Esker
But just bringing it up like that, it seems like he's just teasing Omega with knowledge about his origin.

Well he isn't, and if you're so hypercritical, you write the origin story.

Thanks, Chris. I know the story needs some work, but this IS my first shot at an actual long story.

[Weiila]

I agree with Val about that comment, Omega... but if he's teasing, then it makes sense. You should mention something like "Darumir said with a teasing wink" or something, or that Omega realized that he's being teased. It would make more sense.

[Chris-chris]

yes. I can understand that... heck, my first long story was pretty trebble, wasn't it Weiila? (A lot of past tense, presten tense, spelling, grammar, and stuff) Boy, she even had to send someone to save me from the tenses... (.#.) I was bad...

[OmegaflareX]

First off, I edited it, so it probably makes a lot more sense.

Second, I apologize, I shouldn't have reacted like that. I just had a long day (though Athrelius lifted me out of my bad mood in the chat room :P). -_-

[Chris-chris]

Looks great! :D

[Valkyrie Esker]

Looks a lot better, Om! Good work!

[OmegaflareX]

I'll have the next chapter up soon, you guys. Finals are coming up and I got sick on Friday...so yeah, that's why. Thanks for the reviews. ^_^

[Chris-chris]

I hope your feeling better. Good luck with the exams!:kissy:

[Valkyrie Esker]

http://www.rpgclassics.com/~hideout/sprites/images/valkyrie/valstand.gifyes, I hope you can someday return to a life of laziness and a total lackadaisical attitude about life in general. ^^

[Manus Dei]

Originally posted by Chris-chris
yes. I can understand that... heck, my first long story was pretty trebble, wasn't it Weiila? (A lot of past tense, presten tense, spelling, grammar, and stuff) Boy, she even had to send someone to save me from the tenses... (.#.) I was bad...

Don't say that! A few minor adjustments and it will be PERFECT!:D

[OmegaflareX]

Okay, since I haven't posted in NEAR FOREVER, I thought I'd explain my absence: My finals are next week, and for the past two weeks, I've been getting so much work it isn't funny. After next week, summer begins for me, so you can expect some more then.

[Chris-chris]

Take your time and don't worry about us. Just pass all your exams and relax a bit befor sending it in. We can wait. :-)

Take your time.;)

[Crotanks]

Nice story so far.

[Weiila]

Sorry Omega, I have to unstick some stuff and this doesn't seem very up and about lately.

[OmegaflareX]

I'm working on the next chapter tonight, so...yeah. :P

[OmegaflareX]

*gasp* Chapter 2 is finally up!

By the way, I'm remodeling my character's looks...which I will get back to as Chapter 3 goes into motion.

Chapter 2: Companions’ Journey

Jurien and I raced out of the ship, weapons drawn, to find that the harpies had already struck. Small arrows, all of which were on fire, surrounded the camp that the shipwrecked passengers and crew had set up. I could see Captain Stolman and another crewmember holding a stretcher that bore a wounded crewmember over to an enclosed tent. Numerous torches were around the camp, all of which were burning brightly. Campfires, which were also numerous and also well lit, dotted the camp.
I also noticed the human who had been with Jurien and I; he was helping two crewmen to unload supplies from the crash. Upon our exit of the ship, the human noticed us almost immediately and ran toward us. He looked rather shaky, probably from the crash, but stood firm.
“Where were you two?” He demanded. “The harpies struck while you were gone. Six crewmen and four passengers were killed, and about a dozen others wounded.” “I was thrown off the ship, but I got back in time to repel them. The crewmembers used burning oil to take care of ‘em; harpies hate fire.”
I could see the logic in the crew’s strategy. More than once, because of hot weather, I had seen a harpy nest catch fire, often burning the eggs; or nestlings; within. Fire was a bane to harpies; they both hated and feared it.
“What’s your name?” He asked, much more casually. “I’m Garrek.” Jurien and I introduced ourselves.
“Listen.” I began. “The captain of this ship had a request for us.” I filled in the details of what we had been asked to do, making sure not to miss anything. Garrek seemed interested; several times during the briefing he cocked an eyebrow or nodded.
“So this is it.” He laughed when I had finished. “I’m in on a mission now! Just when I board a ship to-” he gave a sudden stop when Jurien and I were staring at him. “Er, it’s nothing.” He said, staring at the ground. “Come on, I was holding onto my bag, so I have it.”
As we began heading down the mountain, Stolman nodded at us. “Farewell, and good luck.” We returned the goodbye.
Soon enough, Garrek, Jurien, and I were walking rather quickly down the mountainside. A small sliver of orange and gold marked the coming of dawn. We wanted to get to Marunkan as soon as possible so we could get Stolman and the shipwrecked crewmen and passengers out of danger. We walked silently at the beginning of the journey, but we were soon chatting like we had known each other for years about the ship incident, commenting each other on our fighting skills and pointing out what could be improved upon.
“So…” I decided to ask a question that had been lingering in my mind for some time. “What were you doing on that airship, anyway?”
Jurien answered almost instantly. “There was a rumor of a Drow elf riding on that ship that had stolen a rare artifact from my people. So, I came here and boarded the airship in hopes of finding him. It seems as if my search as been in vain”
Jurien and I turned to Garrek. “How about you?” I asked curiously. Garrek looked uncomfortable. “I, er, stowed aboard and into that compartment, to-” His eyes widened when he saw Jurien and me frowning at him. “No, No, I wasn’t stealing!” He waved his hands quickly in front. “I-I was just…” Garrek looked, if possible, even more uneasy. “It’s a personal matter.” “Very well.” Jurien eyed Garrek for a moment with what looked like doubt, but it passed and Jurien continued.
I had said nothing. Garrek seemed a little roguish, but stealing? I could tell it wasn’t possible. Garrek was a decent person; he had helped Jurien and I fight Leon and his two thugs and he had helped the crewmembers fight off the harpies while Jurien and I were inside. What would he be looking for in a private compartment in an airship?
My contemplation was interrupted by Garrek. “Wow, we’ve gone pretty far already.” He mused. I looked up to see that the airship was completely out of our line of vision. It might have just been hidden by the boulders on the mountainside, but we had still gone quite far.
“So we’re going straight to Marunkan?” Garrek asked. “I’ve heard there’s a village some distance from it, and it’s in our direction once we get out of these mountains.” I shook my head. “I don’t want to force Stolman to spend too much time up there. There a lot more than harpies. Dragons have been spotted up there on rare occasions.”
Jurien entered the conversation. “I’ve also heard sightings of-” he was cut short as what looked to be a giant mass of boulders actually leapt up and landed in front of the three of us with a loud smash. I realized it wasn’t a group of boulders, but just a small number of them that formed a large body that was at least twelve feet tall. “…Golems.” Jurien finished.
“Look out!” I leapt out of the way as the golem hurled a fist toward us. It smashed into the ground, leaving a large handprint in the stone. All three of us leapt in different directions. Garrek leapt onto the golem’s back and started attempting to dismantle its limbs with his triple bladed daggers, but the golem shook itself and sent Garrek flying.
He got up and shook his head to steady himself. “It’s no good!” He shouted. “The golem’s too strong to tear apart limb by limb!” “Stay back then!” I called. “I’ll have to use magic!” I had just opened my mouth to start a spell when I noticed Jurien had been muttering quietly. An incantation?
“VAPOR BLAST!” Jurien roared. Instantly, a jet of water formed at Jurien’s palms and raced toward the golem like a cannon. The water hit the golem full in the rocky chest and blasted it backward. The golem slammed into a wall, coming apart like a toy being broken.
I stared at him. “You can use magic?” Jurien nodded. “I’ve become skilled using magic as well as being skilled with a bow and arrow.” I was impressed. Jurien had known that weapons wouldn’t work against a stronger golem, so he had resorted to magic as a strategy and had not wasted time firing arrows. “Let’s keep going. Come on, Garrek.” I nodded to him.
About an hour later, we came out of the Turaikt Mountains. The sun had just begun to shine on the Earth.
Garrek stretched his arms. “Ah! The sun feels great after that night, doesn’t it?” Jurien and I nodded and laughed. It was great to see the sun out.
Another half hour of walking brought us to the village Garrek had mentioned. It was a simple farming village; no gigantic castles or guilds dominated the city, and men, women, children, and various animals either walked through the village or remained on farms that were being tended by their owners.
All three of us attracted attention, being outlanders. Garrek, for one, had two daggers that were rare in small farms. I had my katana, another rare sight, and Jurien got many excited whispers behind his back; elves were a rare sight in such small villages.
I noticed that one of the horse stables was renting horses to travelers. I pointed it out. “What do you think?” I asked. “We could have them returned to this village when we’re done with them.” “Well, it may be able to cut our time down.” Jurien agreed. “Yeah, and my legs are killing me!” Garrek added, stretching his feet.
We approached the highly anticipating horse rancher, apparently thrilled and astonished to see an elf, let alone three outlanders equipped for adventure.
“T-Three horses?” He asked in a small, excited voice. The rancher was a skinny little man with a bald head and a dark brown beard around his chin. The three of us nodded. The horse rancher nodded energetically. “Can you pay for them now?” Garrek and I both started to say something, but Jurien stepped forward first. “Allow me.” He said, handing a several small silver coins to the little farmer. He gasped. “Elven coins!” He cried. “These are impossible to find in a place like this!”
The little man happily directed us toward our horses. I mounted mine, a brown one named Gale. Jurien had a gray horse named Cloud, and Garrek mounted a black one named Star. The small farmer opened up a gate, leading outside of the village and to the road to Marunkan. “Farewell!” The farmer waved furiously with a grin on his face as we rode off, all three of us in a gallop.
“This sure beats walking!” Jurien laughed. “Yeah, and it’ll get us to Marunkan a lot faster!” I added. Garrek was too busy enjoying the ride and letting out the types of war cries horse riders usually do to say anything.
Within what appeared to be minutes, we reached Marunkan. As we approached the gate, our horses slowed when we saw the numerous people entering and exiting the city.
Two guards in standard soldier armor stood vigilant at the gates, spears in their hands. My friends and I walked through to a bustling city that was nothing like the farming village. Enormous stone and granite buildings covered the city with shops, and the roads were lined with individual tents and much smaller shops where merchants yelled and waved for the people to see what they had in stock.
“I’ve never been to such a place.” Jurien breathed. “I haven’t been here in a while either.” I added. Garrek shrugged. “I’ve been here plenty of times, to trade or sell things. It can be a gold mine if you have the right products.” He said matter of factly.
“We have two objectives here.” I said to them as we stopped along the side of the road, still on our horses. “First we need to find Harrborn and Drevius, and we need to get help for Stolman and the crewmembers. We should ask a guard.”
Jurien hailed to a patrolling guard. “Yes?” The guard asked in a professional tone. “We need to find Minister Harrborn. We have important information for him.”
The guard raised his eyebrows. “Minister Harrborn is very busy. He cannot be disturbed. Furthermore, what is this important information?”
“Here!” I proclaimed, drawing the key. “This is the key to a treasure chest on an airship that was traveling to Marunkan, but the airship crashed over the Turaikt Mountains and now the people need help!” The guard eyed the key coolly. “I’ll see what I can do, but I can not guarantee anything.” The guard calmly resumed his patrol.
Garrek snorted. “He must think this is just a hoax.” I shook my head. “We’ll need to find another way to see Harrborn, and we also need to find Drevius.”
“Drevius, you say?” An elderly man, with a long beard, in wizard’s robes, and walking on a wooden staff overheard us. “Why do you seek Drevius?” “You know him?” I asked hopefully and eagerly at the same time. “We have important information for him and Minister Harrborn!” The elderly man gestured. “Come. I shall take you to Drevius so that you and he may talk.”
The old man first sent our horses to a stable, where they would be returned to the farming village, and then told us to follow him. He led us through the bustling Marunkan City, down long avenues lined with merchant tents and shops. Finally, after what seemed like a fair amount of time, we came to a granite building. “This is where Drevius lives.” The old man said. “Please enter.”
Tiled floors, granite walls, and hangings and paintings made up the inside of the building. Mana empowered lights were used to light the rooms up at night. The man led Jurien, Garrek, and I through a small kitchen, past an open door that led to what looked like an office, and into a private meditation chamber.
“Very well.” The old man said, shutting the door to the chamber behind them. “You may now speak to Drevius.” The three of us looked around. “Where is he?” I asked. The old man smiled. “You are talking to him right now.” The three of us gave a start. “You’re Drevius? Why didn’t you tell us before?” Jurien asked when he had overcome the initial shock. Drevius’ smile faded slightly. “I could sense your distress and not being able to see Harrborn or being able to find me, and I did not want to excite you. I can almost sense the importance of this information. Now tell me, what is it?”
I filled him in on everything that had happened since the airship. The treasure chest being stolen by an unknown assailant, the airship crashing, Stolman giving us the key to the treasure chest, and our journey up until now.
“Here it is.” I handed him the key to the treasure chest. He carefully examined the golden key. “Did you notice the markings on the side?” “Markings?” I repeated. He showed them to me, along the side of the key. The inscription was small, and in a language I could not decipher, nor either of my friends, by the puzzled looks on their faces. “No, I didn’t. What about them?”
Drevius had turned extremely grim. He clutched the key in his palm and told me the words that began the chain of events: “The three of you are in great danger.”

[Valkyrie Esker]

http://www.rpgclassics.com/~hideout/sprites/images/valkyrie/valstand.gifWhoo, I like it, Omega!

[Chris-chris]

Must find out what it means!!! Keep updating it Omega! I love it!:D

[OmegaflareX]

Thanks, guys. ^_^

[Heaven's Soldier]

Very cool, must admit, it is definetly different from the usual stuff I read, but it's just so cool.

Keep up the good work, Omega.

[OmegaflareX]

Chapter 3's up! This is a shorter chapter, which explains a bit of the background of the history of the planes, which may explain the key. Don't assume this is the EXACT history, though... ;)

Chapter 3: Long Forgotten Past
I had no idea what to say in response; I was utterly speechless. Jurien looked as if he had seen a ghost. Garrek looked confused and slightly alarmed. “What…are you talking about?” I finally managed to ask.
Drevius was pacing back and fourth, shaking his head and muttering. “I can’t believe it, I just can’t believe it…” he looked frantic and worried suddenly.
Finally, he shook his head one last time and turned back to us. “Do you know who sent that treasure chest?” “No, the captain said it had just been left there with a note to give it to you and Harrborn.” Jurien responded. Drevius stared at the inscriptions on the key. “I have heard of this key in tales of myth dating back from thousands of years ago. Exactly the description: A gold, oddly shaped key, with two blue and red jewels upon it, and a runic language on the side. Come, we must talk.”
We followed Drevius into his office, where he sat down at his desk, and motioned for us to sit in three chairs in front of him. “There is much to say about this key. I became quite interested in the myths of what some referred to as “The War of Twilight.”
Drevius took a deep breath. “Ten thousand years ago, according to an ancient myth, orcs, goblins, and creatures known as orkurall overran this plane, and many others. How they entered other planes is unknown, but this plane is where they originated. I do not know the orkurall’s origins, either. They were supposed to be strong and agile. They were led by creatures called Blackfades, creatures three times as powerful as their orkurall servants. Many evil things across the plain, necromancers, undead, and orcs, joined them in their conquest. In the last hour, when all good races on the planes had finally began to surrender to the prospect that the end was at hand, they received help.”
“Shortly after the war had begun, the Gods began to do battle as well, fighting as hotly and as fiercely as normal men. They quickly became involved in the war, the Gods of darkness siding with the orkurall, and the Gods of light taking sides with the races fighting against them. Zeus battled Hades. Bahamut fought Tiamat. Odin dueled with Loki. Their battles shook the foundations of the planes themselves.”
“In the last moments of the final battles, when all hope had faded, a sword was forged. By whom, it is unknown. The purpose of it was also unknown. Many historians take the natural assumption that it was wielded by a great hero. Some even think it was wielded by one of the Gods. All that is known is that the sword somehow turned the tide of the battle, and that it contained power beyond anything imaginable. Entire orkurall armies died where they stood as white mana cascades flew over them. Blackfades burst into fire from the inside out. It seemed to revive the spirit and fire inside of fighting men, as well. Humans, elves, dwarves, and other races slaughtered entire orc, goblin, and troll armies without a single casualty. Life, serenity, and light came back to the planes. Though countless lives had been lost and many planes were devastated and shattered, they rebuilt and mended over time. The history faded to legend, and the legend faded to myth. Eventually, as the ten thousand years passed into today, the knowledge of this war is lost…for the most part.”
“Supposedly, the Gods of Light, after severely punishing their Evil God opponents, tried to find out what to do with the mystic blade that had saved them all. Some suggested destroying it. Others suggested claiming it as their own. However, Zeus, Bahamut, and Odin all agreed that they must keep it hidden from mortal hands. While it could bring a golden age in the hands of the proper wielder, the power it held could bring fourth another war if it fell into the wrong hands. So, the Gods hid it ingeniously from humanity. It is unknown how or where they hid it. The sword has been sought by many, but each attempt was in vain.”
“However, after doing a good time of research, I discovered that a volume in my basement dating back to almost eight thousand years ago spoke of a key that could lead to finding the sword. To this day, the location of this supposed key has been unknown. Now, it has been found. By the three of you.”
My friends and I stood there, mesmerized. Garrek’s jaw was hanging open and Jurien looked as if he was in a trance. Finally, I decided to speak up. “So you think that…that this key can lead to the sword you mentioned?”
Drevius shook his head. “I do not know, Omega. I do not have any answers. Even all of this is patched together from myths and unreliable rumors alone. However…” he looked thoughtful before he answered. “For weeks, perhaps months now, there have been odd happenings in this land.”
“Odd happenings?” Jurien echoed. Drevius nodded. “There has been news of goblin camps in various woodlands across this area. Goblin raiders have been raiding trade caravans, and soldiers have been reporting that they have been greater in number lately.” “But in this land, goblins haven’t been sighted outside of mountain ranges for two thousand years!” Jurien argued. “Why would they decide to come out and suddenly start raiding caravans?” “I do not know, Jurien. I believe that something is…motivating them. Minister Harrborn, whom I am associated with, has even muttered to me of “disturbing news” from trade ships and caravans that have come in from other lands. However, even though I persisted him, he refuses to tell me what that news is. He has been extremely busy for some reason, and I seldom see him even walking through the hallways of his official trade regulation building.”
I was becoming rather alarmed, and by the looks on their faces, so were Jurien and Garrek. “What are we going to do now then?” I asked. “We have no leads. The treasure chest has been stolen and we have no idea who sent it on the airship. What are we going to do with the key, assuming it is the key you speak of?”
Drevius looked grim. “We’re going to see Minister Harrborn, no matter how busy he is, and we're going to try to decipher this code.”

[Kor]

Well, only having readed the First Chaper and the Prologue (And English being not my First language, By The Way), I must tell i really like the story, I haven't found too much errors, and I find the Plot Interesting and Amusing, It really keeps me tuned

But one thing i noticed....I really don't know if that is a Cliche...But I'm sure i've heard the "Giften Abandoned Guy" thing before.....and It sounds sort of illogical.....
Why will a Gifted Man b Abandoned (Maybe it's explained in Further Chapters, but i haven't read them all)

Keep The Good Work, Omega:P

[OmegaflareX]

Kor, that's only what it looks like (especially considering I've only written the first three chapters). So your point is VOID! :P

[Kor]

Whoa...I Guess i'll have to Read the Rest of the Story to complain again ^^;;;;;;

[Chris-chris]

Hmm... I wonder if something is about to happen to Omega and his pals... I must know.

Oh right! Great story! Please continue to write it! I must know what happens next!:D

[Booken]

Originally posted by OmegaflareX
. The history faded to legend, and the legend faded to myth.
Let me guess, the tale survived on the wind's whispers? :P

*Wind Waker reference*

[Weiila]

Looking good Omega! Keep up the good work :)

[OmegaflareX]

Summer has evidently made me improve on my writing. Heh. :P

[OmegaflareX]

Next chapter up soon. Curse you for unsticky-ing this, Weiila. :P

[Weiila]

I'll be unstickying a lot of stuff soon, mister *waves threatheningly with anti-glue bottle*

[OmegaflareX]

*grabs a super glue gun* BRING IT ON! :P

Er, I mean...*goes back to typing*

[Heaven's Soldier]

http://www.ffonline.com/1_ff4en/warrior.gif I must admit, this is really turning to what looks to be a great fic!! I really want to know what happened to you, and your two friends, and this mysterious key. I can just feel something big may happen soon, am I right?


http://mikesrpgcenter.com/ffantasy/enemies/sphinx.gif Even I like it, I hate almost eveything!!


http://mikesrpgcenter.com/ffantasy/enemies/warmech.gif KEEP IT COMING, KEEP IT COMING, beep, beep, beep


http://personal.readysoft.es/coding/hermes/nuevosprite/cuerpos/dragoon.gif Amazzzzzzzzzzzzing, awessssssssssssome fic, Omega!!

[Wilfredo Martinez]

ARRGH!! My review of Omega's story just got deleted- by my kitten, Alex, who decided that my PC's power cord makes a nice toy! I'll have to type it all over! (That's it, Alex, you're forbidden from playing in my desk any more!)

Anyway: First of all, Omega, I must congratulate you on your mastery of story details. You give us enough that we can easily imagine the characters and their surroundings, but without wasting too much space on them. That is NOT as easy to do as it sounds. Good work.

My first complaint with the story is with the flashback sequence. I don't think it should've taken place during the harpy attack; it should've been saved for when your character was more relaxed, like during the trip to the village.

As for Omega's Master's teasing him about his secret, I don't find it that hard to swallow. It might be that it just slipped, and then he regretted having said it. That can certainly happen, especially if he's so obssessed with Omega. OR, he might've done it intentionally, in order to let Omega think about it, and get used to the idea that he has a secret power. That makes sense too.

About the Golem: usually, Golems are artificial creatures. Calling it an Earth Elemental would've been more correct. But, this is just a nitpick. Oh, and why did it attack?

Another complaint I have is that the heroes seem a little too trusting. How do they know that the old man they spoke to is Drevius? I would've been a liitle more careful as to whom I gave the key to. (Of course, it might be that Omega just wants to get rid of the responsibility.)

I must also congratulate you for avoiding the cliche of the "Ancient Legend that gets PERFECTLY remembered". If a story REALLY is thousands of years old, people should NOT be able to remember it well, unless magic or a well-preserved record is involved.

Finally, I would like to recommend that you always leave a space between each paragraph; makes the story easier to read.

All in all, pretty good work so far, Omega. Keep it up; I'll certainly be waiting for the rest!

[OmegaflareX]

Wil, you always give great advice. :-)

The flashback was meant to be one of those things that occur right during a cliffhanger, to keep readers in suspense. I might not have done the best job of conveying that. ^^; Omega's Master intended to warn Omega that he wasn't ready for the wisdom of his past yet (and at that time, my character was eleven years old, so yeah :P). He did let a few things slip accidentally, though. He WASN'T teasing Omega about his past, though. The Golem I just used as something that attacks adventurers to reveal that Jurien had magic, but I probably didn't convey THAT very well either. :P As for Drevius, you pointed out a good plot hole. Thanks for the advice, Wil.

[OmegaflareX]

*rant mode*

I HATE WRITERS' BLOCK!

*end rant*

Sorry, just had to get that out. :P

[Chris-chris]

It's ok. We all have em some point or another...

[Heaven's Soldier]

http://www.ffonline.com/1_ff4en/warrior.gif Yes Writers Block can be truely annoying, but don't let it get to you. Just try to relax, am I sure somehing great will come to you, and then you can continue writing.

And besides most people will probably wait as long as it takes for you to continue with the story, because it is incredible!

[OmegaflareX]

Well, the next chapter is half done, but tomorrow, I'm leaving for a camp I was signed up for by my Mom for four weeks, and I'll get to be deprived of all computer access during the said number of weeks. Yay. -_-;

So, Weiila, if this gets old, don't mind if I necropost.

[Weiila]

Don't worry, necroposting for the sake of a story is allowed on this board :)

[Heaven's Soldier]

http://www.ffonline.com/1_ff4en/warrior.gif Damn that has to be annoying!

Well have a good time, and while your there you may find some new insperation (unlikely though). Well CYA!:wave:

[OmegaflareX]

You thought the origin story was dead, didn't you? >:D

Well, to all of those who thought that...*drops a lemon on everyone's heads*

*then starts finishing the next chapter*